dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
