life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
