you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
