Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
The adults are the big ones right?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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