Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
