woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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