I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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