I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize