In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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