So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
