Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I have fence marks all over my body
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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