Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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