try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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