Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize