Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
