fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
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i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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