If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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