fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
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im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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