I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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