Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
