I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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