just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
