I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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