You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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