Please, let me fuck your mom
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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