Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Randomize
