I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
