i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
