Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Randomize