even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
