we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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