but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
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I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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