I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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