everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
