Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
