had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
