Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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