i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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