the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
