Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
