im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
