Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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