i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
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