So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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