when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
