i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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