walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Two words: blizzard sex
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
