All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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