and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
