Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
