i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
