Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
