dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
