Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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