Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
