It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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