I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize