why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
