You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
