the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
