i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
