apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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