Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
