There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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