How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
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Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
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Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize