You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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