It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
