so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
