TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
