the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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