how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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