i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
