Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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