hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We got so high we made milksteak
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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