Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
it glows. i had to have it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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