The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
